Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
