I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
