two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
