your parents love me but you hate me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
