It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
