They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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