It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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