i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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