Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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