that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
