Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
