is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i think my tv is drunk
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
