I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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