What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
