It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
