Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
