sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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