At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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