who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You can't special order awesome
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
