Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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