Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
