Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
