i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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