You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize