You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
