Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
