You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
