I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
