i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
