so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I love having hate sex.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
