Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
