Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
