she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
