what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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