He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
