Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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