Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it was like eating out sand paper
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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