You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
