she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
