All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
