people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You pole danced in your parka.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
