I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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