First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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