so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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