you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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