You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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