six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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