I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
