That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
