He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
