Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
