I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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