Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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