Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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